You Do Not Have to Compromise Self-Love While Navigating Grief

by Lynn Lewis, Certified Grief Educator and Coach

Grief has a way of showing up uninvited, unexpected, and often unwelcome. It’s something we all experience at some point in our lives. We may not be able to control when grief arrives, but we do have a say in how we respond to it.

One compassionate and empowering response is to practice self-love—without compromise.

The Connection Between Grief and Self-Love

Navigating grief is deeply personal and layered with emotion. In the midst of sorrow, anger, confusion, or even numbness, the idea of practicing self-love may seem out of reach. But over time—and with intention—self-love can become one of your most supportive tools on the path toward healing.

Before we talk about how to practice self-love during grief, it’s important to clarify a few foundational concepts.

What Is Self-Love?

Self-love is not selfish. It’s not indulgent. It’s not a trend.

Self-love is a conscious decision to prioritize your well-being—emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and even financially. It’s an ongoing process of discovery and practice that strengthens your ability to move forward with resilience and purpose.

Understanding Loss and Grief

Loss is being deprived of someone or something that mattered deeply to you—whether it’s through death, divorce, a career change, a health crisis, or shifts in identity.

Grief is the natural, normal, and necessary response to that loss. It isn’t something to “get over.” It isn’t linear or tidy. Grief ebbs and flows like the tides, and it lasts as long as it lasts. Each person’s journey is unique—even when grieving the same person or event.

Six Ways to Practice Self-Love While Navigating Grief

Here are six practical ways to integrate self-love into your grief journey without guilt or apology:

1. Believe You Are Worthy

Start by affirming your worth. You deserve the same love and care you freely give to others. If that’s hard to accept at first, begin small—with kind thoughts, gentle affirmations, or simply acknowledging that your needs matter.

2. Make Rest a Priority

Rest goes far beyond sleep. In Sacred Rest, Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith writes, “Sleep is not rest.” True rest is restorative. Try stillness, breathwork, stretching, or simply sitting in silence. Give yourself permission to pause without needing to “do.”

3. Honor Your Journey

No two grief journeys are the same. Avoid comparing your process to someone else’s. Your grief is valid, period. Trust what your body, heart, and spirit are telling you.

4. Set Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries protect your peace. They allow you to decide what you can handle, who you want around you, and how much energy you can give. Boundaries are not walls—they are expressions of self-respect.

5. Find Your Support System

Sometimes those closest to you may not understand your grief. That doesn’t mean they don’t care—they may just not know what to say or do. Seek out people who do understand. Support groups (in person or online), therapists, spiritual leaders, grief coaches, and educators can offer guidance and a safe space to heal. A great starting point is grief.com.

6. Give Yourself Grace and Permission to Pivot

Your needs will change. What comforts you today might not be tomorrow. That’s okay. Give yourself the grace to evolve. Be flexible and open to trying different tools, and always be gentle with yourself in the process.

Moving Forward with Confidence and Compassion

Practicing self-love during grief is not about pretending everything is okay. It’s about honoring where you are, giving yourself what you need, and recognizing that you are worthy of care—especially now.

You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to feel deeply and still choose joy when it comes. Let self-love be your companion as you navigate this path—one step at a time.

Need support? If you're navigating grief and would like someone to walk alongside you, I invite you to schedule a complimentary chat – www.calendly.com/destinedtothrive